As boring as it may be, it's my life. You live life and learn as you go along. So hop into my life and enjoy the ride! (You don't want to forget to buckle up, sometimes it's one heck of a bumpy ride!)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I love craigslist.com

I am such a craigslist junkie it's not funny! I check it multiple times daily because I'm so afraid I'll miss out on something. I swear I could furnish an entire house with the stuff people post for free ... it's just too bad most of the stuff is an hour away!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Education

I've never been one that didn't have to study, or even learned things quickly ... I had to work, really work for what I did. So when I think about working at Children's Hospital in DC I am extremely overwhelmed! When I was told in the interview that it would be like going back to school and I would be handed packet after packet of things to learn that I HAVE to know, my anxiety rose. I'm not one of those people who can just read something and know it ... I have to study it over and over and over before I even BEGIN to know it. Being handed a packet of papers and being told, "Read this and have your questions ready tomorrow." isn't for me. I'm not a fast pace learning when it comes to those kind of things. Ventilator modes, what mode and settings to use on certain cases and why ... makes my head spin!!
I've always wanted to work at Children's, I am drawn to working in the NICU and PICU ... why I don't know. Sitting in the interview I was told that liking kids isn't a reason to work there because the type of kids I would see aren't exactly the kind you bounce on your knee and play on the playground with, they're the sickest of sickest kids. It was statements like that, that made me feel like I was being talked down too. I haven't worked in this field for long, I'm not a long time vetren of respiratory therapy, but in my 5 years I've seen a lot. I've never worked in a level four NICU (which is the highest level), but I have worked in a level three. There I saw a lot, more than most people like to even hear about. I know about sick babies, I've seen them. I remember the little baby that was born on my first day of work as a therapist. The mother had gotten zero prenatal care, said she stopped drinking and doing drugs but as soon as the "sack" was broken in the c-section it was aparent that she was lieing. The ambiotic fluid reaked of alcohol so who knows how much she consumed! This little 21 weeker (I think) was not only swimming in the alcohol smelling ambetic fluid but was also addicted to herion and cocain!! I was taken aback when the mother showed absolutely NO afection to this TINY micro premie and wanted to know when she would be released from the hospital!! Needless to say that little one became a ward of the state, and fought long and hard for it's life. Along with the addictions she had a grade four brain bleed, and was on a ventilator, ossilator, bipap, and finally weened to a nasel cannula. She was a cutie who went to a chronic facility and as far as I know is doing as well as one in her condition can. No she wasn't the kind of baby you though of when you think of babies, but she was a baby ... and she was a joy to hold once she was able to be held. She was a big cuddler from what I remember!

I don't know ... I kind of got off the subject with my story of that little baby.

It's just so much to consider, it seems so overwhelming ... especially with where my life is right now. I'm afraid it might be too much.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Today was the day

Well today was the day ... I got up WAY too early (for those that know me that means anytime before noon) to make it to DC by 10am. I got there at 9 ... so plenty of time! :) I did make the mistake of deciding to drive around the area to see what was around just to get lost for a half an hour, but still managed to be 15 minutes early for my interview so all wasn't lost! :)

I met with two men, both very nice and seemed happy with me. The second even gave me a mini tour of the NICU, PICU and cardiac ICU. Very nice ... it would be a great place to work. The only downfall is all I would have to learn!!!! I've never worked JUST with kids before so it would be pretty much starting from scratch. The first guy I spoke with said getting hired there is like going back to school ... I would be given homework, tested, and even have pop quizzes!!! OIY!!!!!!!!

The head honcho is on vacation this week and before a job offer would be made she would need to meet with me and give her thumbs up. So that will happen next week. It sounds promising as the second guy was telling me I should go ahead and get the ball rolling for my DC liscence (I only have a liscence to practice in MD), etc. But I need to do some serious thinking before I take that step! A great opportunity, but I'm extremely intimidated by the whole thing.

I have another interview at another hospital NEXT wed ... I'm becoming the expert on interviews! :)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

That freakin' clock!!

I've always heard the saying ... "her biological clock is ticking", and never really thought anything of it. I think I thought it was just a saying, there wasn't an actual biological clock ... but trust me, there is!!!

Here I am, 32 and despite my many tries to have a child, I'm childless. Yet I want a child more than anything!!! I'm still not over the whole adoption thing, I'm still extremely heart broken over the fact that I was so close and had her taken from me. But even though it deaply hurt me, I'm ready to do it again ... but actually go through with it.

I know what you're thinking ... this probably isn't the right time for me to do this considering the state of my marriage, etc. But when is the right time?? Will there ever be a right time?? If I keep waiting for the right time, I could be 50 and still waiting! Not that I'm old, but as far as having children ... I'm not young.

I want a child, I'm tired of hoping and waiting.

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Fingers are crossed

I have an interview at Children's Monday at 10AM ... Not my choice of times, but I will take what I can get! :)

I'll keep you posted!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Phone tag

I received a call today from the operations manager for respiratory care at Children's today, but of course I was asleep. I returned his call and just my luck, I got his voice mail. Needless to say the phone tag has begun ... ugh!!!!

He said he received my application and resume and wanted to talk with me before setting up an inverview. So we shall see.

Fingers crossed!!!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Online application submitted

Today I filled out the online application and submitted my resume to Children's Hospital in Washington DC ... wish me luck!!

I've always wanted to work here but have been reluctant to apply, but they're hirring and I need to be hired ... sounds like a match to me!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Let's quote Simon Travaglia!

Allowing yourself to smile takes 99% of the effort.

Death is inevitable, but Life - that's the tricky bit where things happen.

Don't borrow someone else's spectacles to view yourself with.

It would absolutely suck if you paid a few bucks for a book only to find that on the first page it said, 'Once upon a time they all lived happily ever after' and the rest of the book was blank.

It's good to follow the path of personal happiness to some extent. People tend to get upset however when you drive a steamroller down it.

Knowing the rules and remembering the rules are two completely different things.

Names are what people sometimes use to excuse their thoughts and actions towards you.

Now sometimes I think that booze is like a mental microfiche reader and as you add alcohol the magnification just increases.

Of all the things I could know, my own faults and weaknesses are pretty much the most important.

On the bus of MY life, sometimes I drive, sometimes I'm just a passenger and other times (like now) I'm a tour guide.

The greatest barrier to someone achieving their potential is their denial of it.

The problem I have with making an intelligent statement is that some people then think it's not an isolated occurrence.

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Monday, August 06, 2007

Not much to say ...

I was reminded today by a friend that I haven't blogged in awhile, so here it goes ...

Nothing new is really going on ... still no job, still living in Hagerstown and not really liking it, still having anxiety attacks and some depression ... it's getting better though, so that's something. I'd still rather stay in bed all day than get up and go out and do anything, it's kind of a daily struggle getting up ... but I'm doing it. It doesn't sound like such a big accomplishment, but for me it is.

I didn't win the contest at TTS, but I didn't expect to. I'm just happy to have gotten eleven pages and three cards made in the month of July! I'm so happy that I entered and accomplished all the challenges that were handed to me ... I even managed to do some extra one's for bonus points!!! I think my scrapbook break of twoish years is finally over ... and it feels good!!! So to me, that's a big win!

So that's that ... nothing exciting, but it's me ... what do you expect?? :)