As boring as it may be, it's my life. You live life and learn as you go along. So hop into my life and enjoy the ride! (You don't want to forget to buckle up, sometimes it's one heck of a bumpy ride!)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Appointment number one

Today I saw my therapist, Gail. Nice lady ... odd office, not at all what I'm use to. It's in Belpre, Ohio and is on the river in a nice home. Her office is a huge room with a desk, a couch, and a few chairs. Not to mention a bird cage with some kind of bird and her pug. The pug was cute, sat beside her and snored the whole time which I found rather distracting, but then again I'm ultra senstative lastely. I met with her, she asked some questions and then asked if it was okay to bring my Mom in. Not a problem with me ... I signed a release to allow her to speak with my Mom and she came back. I am so uncomfortable talking to people about my problems. Those of you that know me know that's always been a battle of mine. I can write about anything for hours, but sit me down with someone an expect me to spill my guts - forget it! I've seen therapists in the past as most of you know, and it would take me forever to ever open up to them and be completely honest. I don't know how much money I've waisted in the past because I would just tell them what they wanted to hear to get out of there. Defeats the purpose I know, but it was easier for me.
She pointed out while talking with my Mom and I that I had become nonverbal since my Mom came in. My Mom told her that I never tell her what's going on and I am great at giving the "I don't know" answer. She also asked if I had been talking prior to her coming in, which Gail told her I was. I felt awful, it's nothing against my Mom ... I just don't feel right bothering her with additional stress. She explained to both of us that I needed someone to help me monitor my depression because it's not something that should be done by me alone. She said that I needed someone that could notice the change in my mood and point it out to me and make sure I get the help needed. She said that when it's just me, I won't seek the help I should and end up in trouble again. She gave me some things for my Mom and I to talk about, and I made an appointment for next week.
All in all it went well. Of course I sat there crying while she told my mom some things I had said prior to my Mom coming in. It's hard to hear things I guess ... especially when they're being told to my Mom.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Dawnree said...

I am so proud of you Gertie! You have been so strong- yes I know you do not feel it right now- but it takes so much strength to face what you most fear. I am praying for you always. Tune

12:32 AM

 

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