Appointment number one

Today I saw my therapist, Gail. Nice lady ... odd office, not at all what I'm use to. It's in Belpre, Ohio and is on the river in a nice home. Her office is a huge room with a desk, a couch, and a few chairs. Not to mention a bird cage with some kind of bird and her pug. The pug was cute, sat beside her and snored the whole time which I found rather distracting, but then again I'm ultra senstative lastely. I met with her, she asked some questions and then asked if it was okay to bring my Mom in. Not a problem with me ... I signed a release to allow her to speak with my Mom and she came back. I am so uncomfortable talking to people about my problems. Those of you that know me know that's always been a battle of mine. I can write about anything for hours, but sit me down with someone an expect me to spill my guts - forget it! I've seen therapists in the past as most of you know, and it would take me forever to ever open up to them and be completely honest. I don't know how much money I've waisted in the past because I would just tell them what they wanted to hear to get out of there. Defeats the purpose I know, but it was easier for me.
She pointed out while talking with my Mom and I that I had become nonverbal since my Mom came in. My Mom told her that I never tell her what's going on and I am great at giving the "I don't know" answer. She also asked if I had been talking prior to her coming in, which Gail told her I was. I felt awful, it's nothing against my Mom ... I just don't feel right bothering her with additional stress. She explained to both of us that I needed someone to help me monitor my depression because it's not something that should be done by me alone. She said that I needed someone that could notice the change in my mood and point it out to me and make sure I get the help needed. She said that when it's just me, I won't seek the help I should and end up in trouble again. She gave me some things for my Mom and I to talk about, and I made an appointment for next week.
All in all it went well. Of course I sat there crying while she told my mom some things I had said prior to my Mom coming in. It's hard to hear things I guess ... especially when they're being told to my Mom.