Education

I've never been one that didn't have to study, or even learned things quickly ... I had to work, really work for what I did. So when I think about working at Children's Hospital in DC I am extremely overwhelmed! When I was told in the interview that it would be like going back to school and I would be handed packet after packet of things to learn that I HAVE to know, my anxiety rose. I'm not one of those people who can just read something and know it ... I have to study it over and over and over before I even BEGIN to know it. Being handed a packet of papers and being told, "Read this and have your questions ready tomorrow." isn't for me. I'm not a fast pace learning when it comes to those kind of things. Ventilator modes, what mode and settings to use on certain cases and why ... makes my head spin!!
I've always wanted to work at Children's, I am drawn to working in the NICU and PICU ... why I don't know. Sitting in the interview I was told that liking kids isn't a reason to work there because the type of kids I would see aren't exactly the kind you bounce on your knee and play on the playground with, they're the sickest of sickest kids. It was statements like that, that made me feel like I was being talked down too. I haven't worked in this field for long, I'm not a long time vetren of respiratory therapy, but in my 5 years I've seen a lot. I've never worked in a level four NICU (which is the highest level), but I have worked in a level three. There I saw a lot, more than most people like to even hear about. I know about sick babies, I've seen them. I remember the little baby that was born on my first day of work as a therapist. The mother had gotten zero prenatal care, said she stopped drinking and doing drugs but as soon as the "sack" was broken in the c-section it was aparent that she was lieing. The ambiotic fluid reaked of alcohol so who knows how much she consumed! This little 21 weeker (I think) was not only swimming in the alcohol smelling ambetic fluid but was also addicted to herion and cocain!! I was taken aback when the mother showed absolutely NO afection to this TINY micro premie and wanted to know when she would be released from the hospital!! Needless to say that little one became a ward of the state, and fought long and hard for it's life. Along with the addictions she had a grade four brain bleed, and was on a ventilator, ossilator, bipap, and finally weened to a nasel cannula. She was a cutie who went to a chronic facility and as far as I know is doing as well as one in her condition can. No she wasn't the kind of baby you though of when you think of babies, but she was a baby ... and she was a joy to hold once she was able to be held. She was a big cuddler from what I remember!

I don't know ... I kind of got off the subject with my story of that little baby.

It's just so much to consider, it seems so overwhelming ... especially with where my life is right now. I'm afraid it might be too much.