That freakin' clock!!

I've always heard the saying ... "her biological clock is ticking", and never really thought anything of it. I think I thought it was just a saying, there wasn't an actual biological clock ... but trust me, there is!!!

Here I am, 32 and despite my many tries to have a child, I'm childless. Yet I want a child more than anything!!! I'm still not over the whole adoption thing, I'm still extremely heart broken over the fact that I was so close and had her taken from me. But even though it deaply hurt me, I'm ready to do it again ... but actually go through with it.

I know what you're thinking ... this probably isn't the right time for me to do this considering the state of my marriage, etc. But when is the right time?? Will there ever be a right time?? If I keep waiting for the right time, I could be 50 and still waiting! Not that I'm old, but as far as having children ... I'm not young.

I want a child, I'm tired of hoping and waiting.