Depression

Here is a layout I did scrapbook contest I'm in at TTS, below is the journaling ...

In the past year I have been thrown so many obstacles that I have had to overcome. The best friend that I had turned to so many times chose to tie the strings of our friendship and go his own way. I was so close to having the daughter that I had held only in my dreams, to have the reality of life take her away. My ninth wedding anniversary was spent away from my husband for the first time as separation was a reality and divorce was ever so real. My life was changing before my eyes, and before I even knew it I was spiraling out of control. I spent weeks without eating, with only a few hours sleep here and there, and countless hours of uncontrollable crying. I hated who I saw when I looked in the mirror, the person I had become. I use to be a strong woman, one who lived life to the fullest and enjoyed every day … now I was simply a child wanting nothing but her mother. I didn’t know which was up, or how to get out of the mess I was in. I longed for the inner strength I once had. Where was the Abby I knew? Where was the hope I had clung to knowing there was indeed light at the end of the tunnel?

Depression is so real; it lurks in the shadows behind me trying so hard to take over my life. It is always near and can easily blind me from my happiness, from my hopes and dreams. I have to find my inner strength and take life one day at a time. I am strong! I am striving to change, trying so hard to be happy not only on the outside, but more importantly on the inside as well. I cannot let my depression control me, I will overcome it … I will find myself again.

Once hope is chosen, anything is possible!

I finally treated myself ...

Tonight while doing some much needed shopping at Target (my fav store), I wondered down the scrapbook isle to see if they had anything on clearance that I MUST have. And there it was ... the EK Success circle cutting system I have been looking everywhere for without success! (no pun intended) I SO hated to spend the money, and I hesitated ... but in the cart it went! It's been a long time since I have gotten myself a treat, so I thought it was about time.
Now the bad part ...
I've had a layout in my head for WEEKS but haven't attempted it because I needed a circle cutter. So tonight I was determined. I went down into my scrap room with my new found toy ready to knock this page out. I looked through kit after kit, paper after paper, but nothing was hitting me. So you guessed it ... I got nothing done (but get a headache). I KNOW I have paper to do this layout, I refuse to go buy paper just to do a layout ... I can't! I have hoarded WAY too much and it needs used! So maybe tomorrow ... or later in the week I'll go back down and take another look at what I have.

But at least I have my circle cutter! :)