A little inspiration ...

"Don't let People, Problems & the Pain of your Past -Pause your Present, Punish your Person, Prison your Potential, & Paralyze your Progress. I will begin walking boldly into my future and not allow others to hold me back." ANGELA DAVIS

Happinesss in a plastic cup

What does age have to do with enjoying a Slurpee?? Nothing makes me smile more than getting a refreshing Slurpee on a hot summers day. There's something about that cold yummy drink that just sends rays of sunshine and rainbows to your heart. It's just a feel good drink that has it's nastolgic factor.

A blast from the past or the clash of the Titian's?

How many years has it been since I last heard from Shyam? I think of him often, wonder how he doing but know he's erased me from his life for whatever reason. I can't bare the thought of deleting him from my phone, so he's still there, haunting me when I look through my contacts and come across his name. Yesterday the inevitable happened, I accidentally sent him a text message. I meant to send it to the person underneath him in my phone book, but marked his name by mistake. I didn't realize it until maybe 15 minutes later when my phone made that glorious noise I love alerting me of a text message. (It's the little things in life that make me happy.) A great joy took over my body as I looked and saw his name, then came the sick feeling and the lump in my throat. I read it, and the joy I felt seconds before crashed into hurt ... "Who is this?" Who is this??? He was actually asking who I was!!! He didn't even recognize my number?? He's deleted me from his phone and his life?? So many smart comments came to mind, but I couldn't be mean ... I loved him, I missed my best friend I once shared every possible thought with! I simply wrote back, "I apologize, I sent you a text by mistake." and left it at that thinking he couldn't have possibly forgotten my number. Minutes later I get "Who the hell is this??" Shyam hasn't changed, typical response ... but still it hurt, he honestly didn't know who it was. I was hurt, mad, and lost ... I wanted to just throw my phone and crawl into that proverbial black pit and cry until I fell asleep having my slumbers take me to that magical land where everything was perfect. But I let my anger take control (as I usually do, you would think I'd learn) and wrote, "It's Abby, don't worry I'll erase you out of my phone as you have erased me out of your life!!!". Never heard another word back, never will. I hate thinking that the last contact I had with him was saying something so mean. Is that what he's going to remember about me, how much of a bitch I was?? I can't help but wonder if he missed me any, or had any fond memories or thoughts when he found out it was me.
Yet another one of life's mysteries I guess ...

oops

Has it really been that long since I've blogged?? It's not that I have this massive following, but geesh ... I need to get it together!! I'm constently writing in my journal (a habbit I can't break, nor do I want to), but coming here and blogging is such a task! One would think typeing would be so much easier, and honestly it is. I can type faster than I write, it's neater, and most importantly there's spell check! :) But writing in my journal is more than a quick thing, it's theraputic to sit down with my journal and pen and write until my hand cramps from the ample thoughts exploading from my mind.

I can't believe it's June ... JUNE!!! (I also can't believe I haven't blogged since March ... MARCH!) It's been so freakin' hot lately. Don't get me wrong, I love the summer ... but I HATE heat! I'm sure you're asking yourself what's to love about summer if you don't like the heat ... and there's tons to love! What's better than those simply orgasmic summer tomatoes that you can buy at the local produce stand from Farmer Joe??? I could live off those things! And fresh fruit salad on a hot summer afternoon ... yummm!!! Okay, so there's more to it than the food ... there's the sun, the lovely glorious sun!!! Feeling the rays upon your body it like it's awaking it from it's winters slumber. Of course with the sun comes the heat, which is just ewww! I hate to sweat, it's just gross! I wish I was one of those people who could be in the heat and not be bothered, but I would rather be pampered in the air conditioning!
I miss the days I spent floating in my pool. I did nothing but lay on a float in the pool while I either read or slept, and of course sun bathed! Everyday that's where you could find me, unless it was raining. I had a beautiful tan, and was so relaxed ... that was the life! Not a care in the world, and the only hard decision I was faced with was sunscrean or no sunscrean! To go back to those days I'd give anything! Could you imagine being so carefree as you were in high school again?? Looking back, things were absolutely perfect! I laugh at the fact I thought the world was ending because whatever the guy of the month was didn't call me! I didn't have to worry about rent, bills, a job, all the adult responsibilities that slapped us in the face when we entered the adult world ... like I said it was all about SPF 15 or 5.
What age was it when life started getting so complicated and less stress free???