Back on the saddle ...

I picked up some shifts with the agency in Baltimore. I'm rather nervous about going back to work, but I feel it's time ... not to mention I NEED the money! I hate having my parents pay for everything, it's not fair to them. I have a 14.5 hour DAY (ewww) shift in Baltimore, then a two hour orientation in PG County, followed by a 12 hour night shift, and a 8 hour night shift. I get off around 7am Sunday morning and I'm scheduled for surgery Monday at 10:30 am! It's a good way to keep my mind off things, right???

The date is set ...

I got a call this AM from the doctors office to schedule my surgery. This place is on the ball!!! They only do surgery's on Monday's so I am scheduled for Monday the 29th. Next Monday I will go in for my pre op junk ... blood work, paperwork, etc. She said it's a same day procedure with general anastheia. I'm rather nervous ... I've never had anything like this done before. I've always been on the other side during surgeries!

A la ultrasound

Today was the day ... I so love this OBGYN, wonderful staff, so nice and personable which I love. The lady that did the ultrasound was nice, talked to me, explained what she was doing, seeing, blah blah blah. She didn't find any fibroids, but did see a rather large (as in 3 inches) cyst on my left ovary. (A normal ovary is the size of an almond) She said she couldn't say for certain, but it looks like a "chocolate cyst" (ruined my love of chocolate) that is associated with endometriosis. She said the Dr. would look at the print outs from the ultrasound and most likely want to schedule a surgery. She said that once he was in there he could look around which was the only way to diagnose endometriosis, so it was a win win situation for me. She couldn't believe I wasn't in a large amount of pain, but I guess I just chalked it up as normal and dealt with it. Who knew????

Funny how things work ...

Today I went to see my OBGYN. My mom wanted me to go to see if he could shed some light on my PMDD, since nothing seems to help with that and I struggle with awful depression monthly. It's been a couple years since I've gone to an OBGYN, so I was rather over due for the freakin' monthly women check up that I absolutely hate. During the exam he said he felt what he thought was "significant fibroids" and he wanted me to have an ultra sound. So I got that scheduled for Monday. We shall see ...

I didn't mention my PMDD because I got all side tracked with the fibroids, but it's not like I won't be seeing him again soon. I shall keep you updated ...

Even more ...

My original design ... I'm rather proud of it! :)

Such "purseonality"

My Mom and I have been on a purse kick ...

Appointment number one

Today I saw my therapist, Gail. Nice lady ... odd office, not at all what I'm use to. It's in Belpre, Ohio and is on the river in a nice home. Her office is a huge room with a desk, a couch, and a few chairs. Not to mention a bird cage with some kind of bird and her pug. The pug was cute, sat beside her and snored the whole time which I found rather distracting, but then again I'm ultra senstative lastely. I met with her, she asked some questions and then asked if it was okay to bring my Mom in. Not a problem with me ... I signed a release to allow her to speak with my Mom and she came back. I am so uncomfortable talking to people about my problems. Those of you that know me know that's always been a battle of mine. I can write about anything for hours, but sit me down with someone an expect me to spill my guts - forget it! I've seen therapists in the past as most of you know, and it would take me forever to ever open up to them and be completely honest. I don't know how much money I've waisted in the past because I would just tell them what they wanted to hear to get out of there. Defeats the purpose I know, but it was easier for me.
She pointed out while talking with my Mom and I that I had become nonverbal since my Mom came in. My Mom told her that I never tell her what's going on and I am great at giving the "I don't know" answer. She also asked if I had been talking prior to her coming in, which Gail told her I was. I felt awful, it's nothing against my Mom ... I just don't feel right bothering her with additional stress. She explained to both of us that I needed someone to help me monitor my depression because it's not something that should be done by me alone. She said that I needed someone that could notice the change in my mood and point it out to me and make sure I get the help needed. She said that when it's just me, I won't seek the help I should and end up in trouble again. She gave me some things for my Mom and I to talk about, and I made an appointment for next week.
All in all it went well. Of course I sat there crying while she told my mom some things I had said prior to my Mom coming in. It's hard to hear things I guess ... especially when they're being told to my Mom.