Freaky Friday

Really there's nothing freaky about today ... that just came to mind! Cool movie though! :)

Today's pretty much sucked! I woke up way too early (9AMish) after going to bed around 3AMish and not sleeping well. Stupid barking cats next door!!!! Between them and my neck I had to get up!

I ended up laying back down for a few hours until the barking cats woke me up again! Gotta love those stupid rats! UGH!

My neck is killing me, it hurts to move my head .... so need muscle relaxers, but I don't like to take them when I'm home alone ... so I will just suffer until tonight. Last night at work I did get a few very nice massages from Andy, which really rocked! Felt VERY good and fixed the problem for awhile! Gotta love him!

Tried to get Bart to stay home today, but like that ever works ... it's the whole messed up priorities with him ... work then me. Am I the only one that sees a problem with that? Even when he's home that's how it is ... he will get a call or email from work and drop whatever he's doing for them. Not me ...

BIG TIME missing Shyam. I'd give anything to just see him for 5 minutes, I totally hate this!!! I have nobody since he's not accessible .... maybe that's why things here seem to suck so much because I'm not really talking to anyone about everything. Who knows. I go to counseling, but that's not the same ... she doesn't know me ... she can read me, or finish my sentences. She doesn't know what I'm thinking without me saying a word.

No news on the adoption, personally I think we're being told what they think we want to hear. I've yet to talk to our adoption agency over this situation, and there's a reason for that. Bart's much more diplomatic .... but if I don't start hearing what I want to hear (ie the truth), they're going to have to deal with me ... which will not be pretty, and could possibly hurt the whole process. But I can't sit being the quiet one forever when that's not the type of person I am! Never will we be dealing with this agency again! Especially when a friend of the family has told my mom she could have placed a couple infants (domestically) with us by now! It's just hard because I KNOW there is a baby in China that is MINE.

My brother will be in the states soon (this week I think) ... at least Bryce will have him, I know he doesn't like having him gone. Poor little guy! I worry about him, I wonder how he's going to turn out with a family life like he has. Thank God he has my parents and spends most of his time with them with my brother is out of the country. He's a happy little boy, you can tell that. But sometimes when you're talking to him, and you really look into him ... there's a deep sadness. I wish my brother would wake up and realize what he's missing out on, and what he is possibly screwing up!