Looking into my inner self ...

I don't know what it is ... maybe my age, maybe turning 30 has made me look at myself differently than I did before? But I don't like the fact that my inside doesn't match my outside. Is everyone like that? I mean I'm sure there's a lot of people who reflect who they are on the outside .... I picture a broker, stuffy suite, tie at work, and at home ... a Gap commercial. But me, I'm different on the inside than out ... and hate it. When I was younger I could reflect my "self image" with funky hair cuts and colors ... maybe a nose ring, funky clothes, etc. But now what? I'm 30, I can't really color my hair pink and cut it short .... I work in a hospital! Not only do I work in a hospital, but I work nights .... talk about really waking up the patients!!!

It bothers me I'm supose to put on an act so to speak because of my age ... because I'm an adult. Key word ... SUPOSE! I don't ... I'm me, I sing along to a song in the store if I like it ... I admit I watch cartoons. So what! That's me, it's who I am .... so what if I'm 30 or even 40 for that matter??

But lately it's really bothered me, I don't like not coloring my hair, I want my nose pierced (professionally this time) .... but I just don't get it.