Here I sit

The Superbowl is on .... I sit here with the laptop waiting for the comercials with Socrates curled up beside me snoring away.

I slept in today ... then took a nap. I feel as if I wasted the day away ... so much needs done and I slept!

The weekend was uneventful ... we didn't really do much, which was nice in it's own way, but I feel like I needed to be out more. With the living! I'm still not myself, but I'm getting there ... I've had my moments.

Last evening wasn't easy ... I was extremely anxious, but hide it. I'm so good at that! And today hasn't been any easier ... worse if anything. Probably why I slept all day .... keeps me from dealing with life.

I'm going back to work tomorrow ... this week I work Monday and Wed ... both my usual 12 hour night shift.

We went to Borders yesterday ... I bought "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes". Such a cute children's book! It's about a baby in China in an orphanage and a mommy in the US without a baby. It talks about how they got together, etc. Very good book.

I'm in the process of stenciling above my bay window. It's a pain because each letter has to dry so long! Me being the impatient person tried to move ahead, and smeared it ... so I guess I will be patient. I stamped on the walls around the bay window ... dandilions and the seeds. Then above it will say Scatter seeds of kindness. It looks okay ... I don't know, I just don't feel creative anymore. I don't feel as if any of my work is worthy of anyone looking at. I feel like I've lost a part of myself with this episode of my lovely anxiety. Hopefully when I'm back to "normal" that part of me will come back!! My creativity is a big part of myself .... an outlet, I need it!

I turn 30 in six days .... I work on my birthday! I don't work on Valentine's Day ... I'm not sure which I'd rather work. Oh well .... life sucks as usual!