Missed work and funky meds

Well, I've missed work due to my increased anxiety which I hate!! I hate both that I have increased anxiety and that it is interfering with my everyday life. I don't sleep ... I have no energy, I'm always exhausted, and I don't feel like doing anything.

I went to the dr. a few weeks ago and she increased my Klonopin because I was having withdraw symptoms from it (happens way too much). GREAT drug, but sucks being on it. So I thought it would help with everything, but nope .... things just got worse! Odd for being on more Klonopin! So finally after EVERYONE telling me to call my dr. I went back today. I didn't want to go back because I didn't want anything to mess up the adoption (she still needs to speak to our social worker). But I couldn't take it anymore .... so I went. Her conclusion ... it was my Seasonale (birth control). Things started progressively getting worse once I went on that and now that I was in the fourth month of it my PMDD kicked in and I think I was having 4 months worth at once! So that was that ... I stopped taking it. She also gave me Ativan ... another lovely benzo like Klonopin. This is stronger and I am to only take it when I have too. Those nights when I'm having horrid attacks and nothing is calming me down ... this should.

I have an appointment with her in two weeks, so hopefully things will be back to normal (as normal as I get). She asked I let me social worker know she's not avoiding her, but she doesn't want to talk to her while I'm this bad because she only wants to say good things about me. So to tell her that I'm having an adverse reaction to a medication I'm on and once that's fixed (in two weeks) she'll give her a call. So that's that ......