Why?

I had a message this morning (okay afternoon) from a friend from work to give her a call. Why is it that something always has to happen to people to totally throw a rock in the wheel?
The man she's been seeing, and becoming rather attached to passed away last night. They're doing an autopsy to find out the cause, but now it's all a lot of what ifs. And of course my friend is blaming herself ... which I told her over and over not to. IF this was not accidental, there is nothing she could have done to prevent it. If it was medical, again ... she could not have prevented it! But I know how she feels, and it's hard ... it's hard to lose a loved one, and it's hard thinking of the "what ifs" .... I've been doing that for the past 12 years!! Something I know I need to let go of ... and I will, something we're talking about in counseling actually.

Then there's the thought of Shyam. Like Shyam, this man is a recovering drug addict. Nobody knows if he relapsed and that's what caused it, time will tell. But it got me thinking about Shyam, and how lucky he is to be alive .... and how easily it would be for him not to be.

So now I have all these thoughts going through my head ... my 12 years of why's and what if's about Amy. Thoughts about Shyam. Knowing how important it is that everyone in your life that means something to you knows it ... knows how much you care about them, how much you love them, because you never know!