December baby

Finally the long awaited month is here ... December! I've always looked forward to December, all the holiday decorations, the shopping, the magic in the air. But this year I've been waiting what seems like years for this month to get here!!! This is the month we originally were to go to China. I had been planning on spending my Christmas in China with my daughter, her first Christmas! But as you know, we will be spending Christmas here ... and she will be spending Christmas in China.

For those of you who know me, know number one ... I am NOT a patient person, and number two ... I do NOT like when things don't go my way. So needless to say, I am NOT in the Christmas spirit at all this year ... the first year of my life. I'm usually wanting to put up the tree, get out the ornaments and reminisce about the memories they hold. This year ... forget it, they can stay in there box! And the Christmas music, enough already! Usually I can't get enough ... but geez, enough is enough. Want to talk about the Grinch ... here I am! :) I didn't want to be here for Christmas ... I wanted to be in China. The thought of my daughter spending Christmas, her first Christmas without me kills me. To think she's in a crib with other babies ... not getting one gift, nothing. I don't know what goes on in the orphanage ... but I just hope and pray that she is given extra love that day from her caretaker. Extra kisses ... extra fun. It kills me!!

I keep praying for her picture and profile ... that's all I want, I want to see her! And maybe if that happens before Christmas, I'll be more in the spirit.

So you wonder what's on my Christmas list this year? Usually I have it typed, and passed out at Thanksgiving with pictures and websites! Not this year ... all I want is my baby!!