Well, I need to retrain my brain ....

Today I met with my new councilor ... it went well, she's very knowledable (hence the PhD I suppose) and I think she will be helpful). She's no Amy, but maybe it's for the better.

First impression I think I blogged about .... I never saw her, but didn't like her at all!!! So I went in with a bad attitude (I know, hard to believe that about me). After meeting her, I liked her ... I explained the situation about canceling the appointment and she totally understood ... wasn't real happy nobody told her or that they scheduled an appointment for me though. But I wasn't happy with that either. So that's water under the bridge.

Pretty much today we didn't get into much ... just a lot of questions about what Amy was doing, and she explained her training and the difference in her approach compared to Amy's. Personally, I think her approach will work better as she's more to the point and blunt. Amy was more like talking to a friend ... we had a lot in common, I don't think it will be this way with Barbara. She gave me homework, and some things to try ... so we'll see. She wants to see me weekly for 12 weeks ... she thinks in that time I will see a huge difference. I hope she's right!

I'm to keep a journal by my bed and a small light ... when I'm trying to go to sleep and I have my rushing thoughts, I'm to get my journal, turn on the small light and write each one down as it pops into my head, and tell myself I'll deal with it tomorrow. Then in the morning, get the list and read it ... she said I'll see that 95% or more isn't anything, and the things that are something, I can deal with then ... they couldn't have been delt with at that time of night anyway. Eventually my brain will learn this pattern and start doing things this way on it's own.

I'm to take a test for ADD for adults, and also have my parents take the test about me. She said I explained ADD perfectly. Who knows. We'll see.

She also gave me an article to read on panic attacks and noted the next to the last page an exercise she wants me to do 5 times a day (or more). It's a breathing exercise .... something I do (or try to do) already ... but not that many times a day.

She asked what I wanted to gain from these sessions .... of course I said "be normal". :) Then of course I had to elaborate on that. I explained that I want to be able to function as a "normal" person in society despite my problems. I don't want my anxiety and depression holding me back, I want to be able to make phone calls, go to the grocery story, etc without having a panic attack and talking myself through it. And she told me I'd get there. So I'm waiting .... :)

All in all, it went well ... like I said, she's not Amy, but I think the change is good. So chalk me up for weekly appointments!!!!