Hating life

Okay it's 2AM and here I am ..... sitting in bed with the laptop. Bart got fed up with my cont. talking and went to sleep in the guest room. Socrates on the other hand never leaves .... he's laying beside me, head on pillow snoring away!!! I've had trouble sleeping for the past few days, I'm not sure what's up. I've even been getting up early, so it's not like I'm not tired!

Today I forgot to take my pills in the afternoon .... so I think that messed me up to a point, like the compulsive thinking and talking once I went to bed. Who knows. Bart of course wanted to give me my "emergancy pill" which I wouldn't let him. I think he likes doing that just to shut me up so he can sleep, which I don't think is fair. I know he needs his sleep, but we have more than one bed.

I'm to the point where I'm just hating everything ..... my car, I want a new one. The adoption, is taking way too long. My job, it just sucks. It's one thing after another. I need to update products in my store, but no money in the store account to do so. I don't want to use money not from the store for the store .... I want it to run itself. But I don't know if it will stay in business like that. They always say you have to spend money to make money .... maybe that's true, who knows.

Then there's school .... yup school. I've been seriously considering going back once the adoption is finalized and we get settled in as a family. I don't know if it's practicle though .... especially since I hate school. But I just can't see myself being a RT for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a 50 year old neb jocky!!!! But then that's more money ... a student loan, ugh! I don't really want that.