Life

How is it that everything can be going so well one minute and then the next everything is falling apart right in front of you?? Life isn't predictable, that's for sure!!

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live the "perfect" life ... to be the "perfect" person. I strive for that ... healthy or not, I do. I'm a perfectionist, there's no if ands or buts about it. In counseling that's one of the things I've been working on ... things don't always have to be perfect. No matter how often I hear that, or even say it ... I don't believe it. Things DO always have to be perfect, when they're not .... I beat myself up for it.

Don't get me wrong ... I'm FAR from perfect! I look WAY less than perfect, far from the perfect body, and I don't even resemble beautiful. But still, I like things I do to be perfect. Somehow, in my crazy mixed up mind, in that I will become perfect. I like to be in total control of ever situation. I like to know what to do in every situation. So as you can see ... anxiety doesn't fit into my "perfect world". Heck ... I don't fit into my perfect world!!!!!