Why bother?

Tonight I was doing some things for the store (putting kits together), and Bart was geeking it out in his office. Am I wrong for thinking he should help ... or maybe sit in here and talk to me ... spend time with me, something? Eventually it's too late to order from anywhere for dinner ... so he came in to talk about what we were going to eat. Somehow, not sure how, we got into an argument over our usual crap. I get blamed for making him tell me what he was thinking, because I knew he had things to say and he wasn't. So he does, it upsets me ... and he gets all pissy saying "this is the reason I don't tell you these things". NOT THE POINT! Not to mention, he said some pretty hurtful things to me! I'm crying, not necessarily from what he's said, but because he doesn't get it! I don't know how many times I said that to him ... "YOU DON'T GET IT".
So I find out he's threatened by Shyam ... threatened! So I point out another male person, Andy. Nope, not threatened by him. Okay ... both male, both friends, don't get it! It came down to, him telling me that Shyam is the only person I would leave him for. Shyam is the only person I would cheat on him with, if I haven't already!!! IF I HAVEN'T ALREADY! Nice to have that level of trust there isn't it? Andy ... he's younger, I don't like younger guys ... and I've never opened up to Andy ... so no threat to him.
Okay, I know he hates who my best friend is ... been there a million times with him. But what is the difference of the sex of my best friend?? Is it just me who doesn't get this?
Bart has female friends ... who cares? He pointed out, he doesn't talk to them on the phone daily, email, go to there homes, hang out, etc. Ummm, he doesn't do that with anybody. Kind of a bad example, but still.
I'm just so freaking sick of the whole problem society (not only Bart, but society) has with male/female FRIENDSHIPS. I've dealt with it my whole life, I've always had guy friends, I've always been closer to guys .... they aren't back stabbing like girls were in school. I don't understand why most people think that a male and female can't JUST be friends!
I'm sorry my husband doesn't like it, but it's not changing anything. That might not sound nice, but you kind of have to know me. I'm not your typical people pleasing person. I do what I want. Yes when Bart and Shyam got into a fight ... I sided with the person (after hearing both sides of the story, and knowing some other facts personally) I knew was right. A lot of people thought this was wrong, because I sided with Shyam, not my husband. Sorry .... Bart was wrong. And of course that whole thing was again brought up last night! SICK of talking about that. If I had to do it over, would I change anything? No! I'm sorry, but I am not some June Cleaver wife that is going to stand by her man even though I know he is in the wrong.
All I was trying to do was to get Bart to step in my shoes for awhile ... but man did that back fire! Constantly he's asking what's wrong, etc. I was trying to tell him, but he didn't want to hear it. It's almost like he chooses to only hear what he wants. Not putting it all together. Yes he's my husband, my best friend, someone I love dearly. If he wasn't all that, I wouldn't be with him. But when I told him to take a minute and step into my shoes and look at all I've been through in the past few months ... Which he did, and his answer was hell, which yup, that's it ... unless you can think of something worse. Then I said, and where's my best friend been when I have needed him the most? His answer .... right here where I have always been. (knowing I was not referring to him)
I have no idea how to get him to understand this ... I don't think I ever will. But to have SO much going on with me and have Shyam unreachable has made it worse. I feel like I've had to go through it alone (even though Bart's been there, he's been supportive) ... I don't have the person I turn to to talk to, the person that actually understands my stupid feelings. Yes I can talk to Bart ... but does he always understand and get what I'm saying? No, and that's frustrating ... and it's not his fault. Shyam gets it, and I have had to go through some of the hardest things in my life in the past few months without him there. I can't get Bart to see how hard that is, nor do I know how to.

So like Bart said ... why bother saying what's on our mind? What's the point? It almost always turns into an argument!