Lifebook Crop

Twice a month a group of ladies in the area meet to work on our lifebooks. Needless to say, I haven't been to many ... okay one! After the first one, I had to work ... and then the whole STOP in our adoption made it hard to think of even going. (Everyone in the group has adopted already)

Today, I went! I didn't want it ... cried a lot on the way there .... pretty much the whole way home, but held it together while I was there! These ladies are extremely understanding and nice ... they've understood why I haven't been at the meetings, etc. One emailed me Saturday telling me she was so excited to hear I was coming! She had a lot of kind comforting things to say. She even asked if I wanted to do a page for her daughters lifebook, she said it would be something that wouldn't be personal or anything to upset me. But if I wanted something to do, she'd be honored to have someone as talented as myself do a page! (Geesh, what a compliment!) She adopted from Russia ... beautiful girls! I wrote her back, told her I'd be honored to do a page for her daughter's lifebook and would see her Sunday.

Of course today came, and it was another story ... I was an hour late .... and it's only 2 hours. (Personally I think it needs to be longer) I didn't get much done, but inking 2 pictures and matting one, for the page ... but gave everything to her and told her I'd finish it next time! Next time .... ugh!

I enjoy it, don't get me wrong ... it's just SO hard! Listening to all the stories, seeing all the pictures ... and of course the lady who hosts us adopted from China, and her daughter is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! When she came home from the park with her Dad and she yelled "MOMMY" from upstairs, and then came downstairs ..... I about burst into tears! Thankfully it was time to leave!

I would tell them I no longer can attend because it's just an emotional strain on me, but I feel like I would be letting them down. They all seem to look to me for help and guidance as they're new to scrapbooking. I could have gotten more done on the page if I wasn't answering questions and helping with various things. So I just don't feel right not going at least once a month. And maybe it will get easier ... who knows! The next is in two weeks .... so we shall see!