Sunday ....

Where did the weekend go? I know I had trouble sleeping at night, so yesterday was spent sleeping (until around 5PM), but today I got up at 10AM! And here it is midnight fifteen and what did I get done?? NOTHING!!!

I hate weekends like this! I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish, gave it to Bart (which means, it usually gets done .... most of it anyway) and who knows if he even looked at it because we did NOTHING on the list! I feel like the past two days have been a total waste!

Yes, we got bad news Thursday! It threw us both for a loop, and then some ... but it seems like we're just standing still now! My anxiety is through the roof, and any little thing sets me off because I'm so irritable from being so anxious. So that really helps everything! I have been staying up all night keeping busy to avoid panic attacks and keeping Bart awake, and getting him upset because I'm doing so bad. But that's accomplished nothing, and I know that avoiding panic attacks don't get rid of them ... they just keep building! I know better, but I don't want to add to the stress he already has!

I'd give anything for a few days sitting on the beach watching the ocean ... letting the waves take all my anxiety out to sea! But I have no time ... I'm booked solid with work and stupid appointments. I picked up all kinds of extra stuff this schedule to stay busy, which is good in a way ... but not good in a way too! The extra money is always nice, but is it worth it? I have plenty here to keep me busy, more than enough here to keep me busy!

I feel like one more thing is put on me and I will just burst!!!