Called into work ..... and some thoughts

I was on call tonight, and of course got called in for 4 hours which wasn't bad at all. They really didn't need me, it's so stupid when management calls in the call person for nights during the day before they know what it's going to be like. Someone called out, but still ... they didn't need me. I'm not complaining, I get paid well to go in ... just saying they should re-think things some.

I'm on call tomorrow (well tonight) as well. Unless someone calls out (which is very unlikely) I should be fine. I picked up a lot of call this schedule ... pretty easy money if you don't get called in. And if you do get called in, it's nice money.

Today's been odd ... a lot of thoughts going through my head. Of course there's been tears ... but mostly thoughts. Very unlike me, which is confusing. I think it's because I am such a believer in destiny and that things happen for a reason, that this set back is just because our daughter wasn't one of the orphans (I hate using that word) up this time, so something came up to hold us up until our daughter is ready. I know that no matter what, she will be worth the wait and then some!

So here I am, working on my adoption journal (at least trying to) rather than sleeping. My way of avoiding a panic attack and a bad night ... just not sleep. Not exactly the way to do it, not what my therapist would like to hear ... but it works!