Sunday morning/ Early afternoon

This day ... actually the past few days have seem to last an eternity. Why is it when you want time to fly it doesn't and when you don't it does? I wonder if it would help to use reverse psychology on it? (Okay, I know it wouldn't ... but still)

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start .... (LOVE that musical, I think I have the whole thing memorized!)

So, last night was NOT pretty ... and just got worse as the night went on. Of course Shyam didn't call back as he said he would, so I do the typical Abby thing and start blaming me and beating myself up for it (mentally, not physically). I went from being relieved and happy for Bart and Shyam for talking ... to being absolutely furious at Shyam for not talking to me and only Bart. And when I say absolutely furious .... I mean more than mad (I don't believe there's a word for it) I began to take it out on Bart, by spouting off everything that popped in my head ... only to get more made by the minute. Bart thankfully calmed me down with a wonderful back massage and I fell asleep. (All this started around 11:20 PM for those interested)

Then this morning starts out good ... Bart and I cuddling on the couch downstairs (Socrates as well) after I was woken by the dogs. Bart took them downstairs and laid on the couch hoping to get some more sleep. It wasn't long and the phone rang ... I get up, get around the dogs and get to the phone too late. So I go upstairs ... that's where our cordless phones are (which we usually have one downstairs, but since it was morning ...) to see who called, etc. No longer did I get to the bedroom did Bart's Nextell beep, and before I could even pick it up, it did again. So, I picked it up and Shyam was two laying him. So, assuming he was wanting to speak to Bart I push the button and say "hold on I'll go get him". To that I get a rather nasty, "I was calling to talk to you". So I explained being in bed (even though we weren't ... but it was easier to say), so from that I get a "whatever" and it got worse from there. So I call his house, his Dad picks up and tells me he's not there ... went to get his phone fixed. We had a short conversation (and when he asked how I was, I don't think he believed my big pause and then okay .... I so wanted to just tell him what all his son had done, but didn't). So I hang up and dial Shyam's cell ... Surprisingly he answered ... and he just instantly goes into ... if you don't want to talk to me ... blah blah blah. So didn't say that, tried to calmly talk which is a hard thing to do when the person on the other end is practically yelling. Then he conveniently got home and said his famous "I'll call later".
By this time, Bart's in the room and I am MAD! I looked at Bart and said "this is ending today, I WILL talk to him face to face even if it takes going to his house (which Bart did NOT like that idea)" I explained I needed to talk face to face because one ... if it was over between us, I wanted it said to my face, I also wanted to talk to him and get some answers. Not to mention ... face to face there is no "I'll call you later", click.
So, I pick up the phone and try his house ... BIG shock, no answer. Try him on Bart's phone thinking just maybe ... but nope. Eventually, somehow (I don't even remember how .... direct connect I think) I got a hold of him. Of course it started out as always .... him blasting me for nothing. Then he says he doesn't know how we count our calls, but his Dad counted 13 in one day .... our computer logs each in and out call with the time and number because our phones are through our computers ... Bart checked for a week and it was 10 for a week ... so let's add 5 which is on the high side from my cell (keeping in mind one of those I was asked to call). So that's 15 ... ya a lot for a week, but it's not 13 in a day. But keep in mind, I was getting avoided and knew it, and I was worried more than you know about what was going on with him!!! I was hoping and praying he hadn't relapsed. Anyway, he spouts off about the calls and somehow he says something about "if Bart wants to talk to my Dad" .... to which I said, "Bart would LOVE to speak with your Dad". At this point I was on fire I was so mad. I didn't want to have to get his Dad involved, I didn't him knowing his son was treating me like this, verbally abusing me .... but at this point, I had no choice. Even as mad as I was, I was still worried about what's been going on with him, and I knew getting his Dad involved would get things settled. So Bart calls ... they talk, Bart reads him an email that was sent to me, and needless to say his Dad was not happy. He was going to talk to him, and they hung up.
At this point I decided to shower ... because as I stated earlier, this was going to end today! So I'm getting ready to get into the shower and the phone rings, Bart yells got it .... and of course I have to open the bathroom door to see who it was. It was Shyam, apologizing, etc .... so I get in the shower. Next thing I know Bart's telling me we're meeting him for dinner! Geesh, one minute he's yelling at me, the next he's apologizing to Bart and now we're meeting for dinner. Good ... I want to see him, I want things said to my face.
Of course typical me ... feels bad we involved Shyam's Dad, so I quickly make him a card, type up a note (I know typing is impersonal, but I was in a hurry) and that was that.
Bart's wondering if he'll show ... I said he would. Bart told him if he didn't we would come to his house. But I knew he's show ... but then started getting doubts. Bart's nextell goes off ... Shyam has no money. Bart told him not to worry about it, it was taken care of. Then of course double checks that he's going to show. He said he was, and was leaving in 5 minutes. A little later, there's that beep beep .... now he's running late because he forgot his wallet and has turned around to go get it. (This is where I started wondering ... but knowing deep down, he'd come)
So we arrive at Barley and Hops ... I have never been that nervous in a LONG time!!! I wasn't sure what was going to happen, how to act, I just had my guard up full force and was on the defensive. Shyam of course gets lost (and he makes fun of me getting lost), so Bart directs him to the right place. We all walk in together and get a seat at the bar (so Shyam could smoke ... heaven forbid he have a conversation without smoking). Shakes Bart's hand says something like good to see you and Bart said the same. Turns to me and goes to give me a hug and I say don't touch me. Okay ... so I shouldn't have started out that way ... but full guard was up. Then I give him the card and ask him to give to his Dad. So we argue about that (lovely). He kept saying I know this is an apology from you to my Dad and you don't need to. Of course I get mad, and say something back to which he says, "is this how it's going to be?" and I said I'm sorry ... just please give it to him, I took the time to make it, the least you could do is deliver it. So he puts it in his pocket. By this time Bart was back with everyone's drinks .... he had a seat that I pulled out for him that was beside the seat that Shyam was in, then I sat next to Bart. Problem with this ... Shyam couldn't hear me ... and I got tired of repeating myself (I think he could use a hearing aid) so I took my water and moved down to the seat beside Shyam. Shyam and Bart caught up ... talked about work stuff and what's changed, etc. Shyam filled Bart in on what he's been doing (some of which I'm not sure was true) and it was like they were back to being how they had always been. Slowly my guard came down ... and before I knew it, I was picking the tomatoes out of Shyams salad (trying to do it so he didn't see me, but Bart said I wasn't doing a good job at it). He barely ate any of his salad, so I decided to continue to pick at it .... so I get his fork and eat the cucumbers, then decided I wanted the salad so instead of leaning over him every time to get something I just took the salad and ate pretty much the rest of it. I kind of worried Bart wouldn't have liked me using his fork like I did ... but I asked later and he didn't care. But things were weird ... not what I expected at all. It was like nothing happened. He did apologize ... didn't remember saying and doing all he did, but apologized. And it was like old times with him ... with the three of us.
Dinner was over, and he shakes Barts hand goodbye and said it was really good to see you .... they say a few things. Then he turns to me and was going to hug me ... I turned away (which I was just joking), so he said bye and by the time I turned around to hug him bye he was half way out of the restaurant. So I try and catch him at his car, but he didn't notice me and he was outta there.
So I call his cell, and thanked him ... I didn't want him to think I was mad. But he didn't. He was on his way to Best Buy, which he got lost ... so I got him there and he said he'd give me a call when he got home.

So things went well ... Really well! I felt SO much better! A HUGE weight had been lifted. Kinda mad because he didn't talk to me much at all ... but figured we'd have our talk later, because it was really nice seeing him and Bart talking and laughing. I got my apology, I got to see him, I got SOME answers .... which were one's I didn't need. I already knew that when he starts getting to close to someone he leaves. But it's something ... it's a start.

I emailed him, thanked him again for coming and let him know I was giving him his space. Told him some things to prevent it all from happening again ... and told him to give me a call. So we'll see what happens. Hopefully, we're back to being friends like we had been.