The serenity prayer

I was told yesterday by my counselor that it will help me get through rough times (at the time she was speaking of the wait of the adoption), was to say the serenity prayer. I've heard it before, I think my Mom has told me bits and pieces over time when I was having trouble. Anyway, Barbara (that's my counselor) told me that it would help. I have no idea what religion she is, nor does she of I. And when she told me that I thought to myself, whatever! I've been struggling with my "faith" over the past 10 years or so. Sometimes the struggle isn't much ... Sometimes I'm FULL of doubts. One thing I do know is I do not believe what I was taught growing up, that's became clear to me over the past couple years. (I was raised Baptist for those wondering ... Went to a Catholic high school, so I attended mass there as well as having a religion class ... But I wasn't there long.)

So anyway, when told to say this prayer I just kind of stuck it in the back of my head. But today I needed something, I had nothing to grasp onto ... So I looked it up (which it's below). I said it aloud through my tears, as I did I began to cry harder. I was praying to God, praying to "be like him" in a way. I wasn't comfortable saying these things at all; however leaving all the Godlike stuff out, the prayer says a lot. Don't get me wrong ... I'm not an atheist, I hate that word. And I do pray ... But when I pray, I'm not really sure who I'm praying to. I just know in my heart that someone, whoever it is, is hearing it ... At least I hope. I'm guessing that was all a shocker for a lot of you, but it's me. Maybe sometime I'll blog about my whole reasoning ... Not that anyone out there really cares, but who knows.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next. Amen

Reinhold Neibuhr-1926