Just once ...

Just once I'd like Bart to be able to go out of town without worrying about me!!! I'm a wreck when I'm alone!! I hate being alone, I always have! Yes I have two dogs, and they help tremendously ... but I need a person, a voice.

He's on his stupid annual fishing trip with the guys ... and I so don't understand why they call it a FISHING trip when there isn't any fishing!

So here I am, crying all evening because I'm alone ... and having a bad time with my anxiety isn't helping any! It helped that I spent most of the day with Shyam. He put the lights in on my car, he took care of some personal business on the phone and computer while I just chilled on the couch and drooled over the J Jill catalog I had gotten in the mail. We talked, and went to PetSmart to look around and get out. (Which by the way I fell in love with the cutest tree frog at PetSmart .. thanks a lot!) But even though most of the time I wasn't even talking to him ... just being there with him, with a person was nice. I'm such a freak!

So now it's after midnight and I'm still up crying, shaking, all tachicardic, just feeling stupid! I don't want to go to bed, I can't do anything because I can't focus enough ... so I just sit with the dogs and cry. (Which they are currently asleep side by side on the couch and look SOO cute). In an hour or so I'll give in and go to bed where I will cry myself to sleep like an idiot.

Luckily I work tomorrow (well, I guess that would be today) night so I won't have to go through all this as much. But then there's Sunday. Yes, one would think I would come home and sleep ... but we all know that won't happen. So I'm sure Sunday will be spent much like tonight has been ... until Bart gets home around 7.

Can you say loser?