The last of three

The last of my three shifts ended up being horrible. It started out with one of the worst anxiety attacks I've had in years. I was in tears the whole way there, not to mention for about an hour before I left for work. I was a babbling idiot!! I called Bart on the way to the hospital thinking he would help calm me down, but it was the opposite. It seemed like everything he said upset me more! I felt like he was almost intentionally trying to make everything that much harder for me.
I was ready to call into work with some excuse why I couldn't come in, knowing I shouldn't do so ... it was my first full week! How great would that look?!?! So I sat in the parking garage bawling my eyes out ... I looked like total crap! I sucked it up, did a lot of self talking ... and walked to the elevator (still crying). I hit the first restroom I came to, and splashed some cold water on my face and head to the department. My eyes were red, puffy, and burning ... I could only imagine what everyone would think about me.
Thankfully my two little kiddo's were still in the ER that I had previously, and that brought me some comfort somehow.
Not much went on, which was a blessing ... I don't think I could have handled being called all over the place! I think I would have had another breakdown. I made it through the night, I was doing things on my own without someone going with me ... which was nice. The night went by quickly and before I knew it I was giving report and on my way home.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for Mom and Dad to come over, putting the night behind me. I'm not going to sleep today so I can spend time with them. We're going shopping. It will be nice to see them, it's been too long. I wish they were staying longer so I could have more time with them ... but I'm thankful for the time I have.