What a week ... or two

Not that things have been easy lately ... things at work suck, things at home suck (because I hate dealing with things), and then WHAM .. another problem! So there I go ... over and over and over in my head EVERYTHING. No sleep, anxiety off the charts, and all I want to do is stay in my bed and cry. Which as we all know, staying in bed crying solves everything! So things continue to plummet and I continue to worry, and become a very angry person.

So here's the problem ... my best friend (besides of course my husband)relapsed! Just a few weeks before he would have been sober for two years. Even though I knew it was coming ... but was NOT prepared for it. The news hit me like a brick, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be able to just fix the problem ... fix him, help him ... but I can't. Only he can fix this, and I can only be a friend and support him on becoming sober again. I've lost too many loved ones, and I will NOT let him be another!!! Yes, he's an addict ... no matter what, he'll always be an addict ... sober or not. It just takes abusing one drug and his body is back to where it was years ago. Just like that!

So let's add to the problem ... Bart isn't speaking to him. They had some problems at work (Bart's his boss) and he's not talking with him. So where does this leave me? Smack dab in the middle!!! After weeks and weeks of trying to help them work things out ... let me rephrase that, trying to get Bart to grow up ... this happens!

So where does it leave me? I love my husband more than anything, but I also love my friend (a friend love, not a husband love). I don't like this getting between my husband and I, but I won't ... I CAN'T turn my back on a friend when he needs me the most!