BAD day

It's been so long since I've had a bad day/night like today. Throughout the night I'd wake up from a dream in a panic, and of course it went on throughout the day as well. Panic attack city ..... I'd wake up having an attack, and cry myself back asleep, just for it to happen again, and again, and again .... you get the picture. Of course I had to work tonight (where I am now) so that just made things worse because I knew I had to get my act together before work. Knowing that just gets me more worked up and makes it all worse.

Thankfully Bart came home an hour early and was with me to help me get my head on straight ... he's always so good to me. And then there's Shyam who talked to me on IM while Bart was getting ready to leave and until Bart called me on his way home. What a lifesaver he is!

Tonight at work has been SLOW (knock on wood) so it's given me the time I need to get things together. I'm sill not 100% and I'd SO much rather be at home in bed with my husband than here, but it's life. As much as it sucks! I hate not being able to call out sick ... but maybe that's a good thing, maybe it gives me the push I need to work? But then again, maybe it's a bad thing ... not giving me the time I need to "get better".

All I know is this damn disease BITES!