Work bites

I got had a message on my machine yesterday to give my boss a call. Of course by the time I got it, she had left for the day. So I spent the rest of the evening (and night) wondering why she would be calling .... I mean, it wasn't a supervisor, it was the head lady .... the hire, fire lady. The message said it was nothing big she just wanted to chat, but still ... we're talking me, the one who obsesses and thinks the worse, the one with anxiety!

So I call her back, leave a message and give her my cell number to call me back on .... which she did a little before 8 this morning. It seems she was calling yesterday to see if I coud come in today and tomorrow for more orientation. I got out of today by saying I had made plans that were already in place and apologized but said I'd be there tomorrow. UGH!!! So now I work Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday!!!! I tried to get out of the weekend, but she said it was up to me .... if I felt comfortable working I could. Yes I feel comfortable working .... so there goes my weekend. Also there goes my 3 days a week schedule, because she's putting me back on orientation!!!! I'm not letting her touch next weeks schedule because I have plans on the days I have off ... my parents are coming in town. But I guess after that I will be back to Monday through Friday! I guess the positive thing is .... a bigger pay check!

As far as extending my orientation ... that's fine, I haven't really been oriented which is the problem. You tell me a few things and throw me out with an assignment. I don't know the policies, protocall, where supplies are, etc ... but I can give treatments, etc. But the problem lies within my CHARTING. I explained to her that I can NOT chart as I go, I've tried it and it's too overwhelming ... I actually said that, it's too overwhelming, that's big for me to admit that. She understood (which really she didn't because she doesn't know me "situation") how it could be because it's all new. Then she said she really would like feedback, etc from me on the charting and why it's being such a problem as a new person coming in. That's when I feel like I'm being used as a test subject!

After every round I run my report to look for zero's which I 99% of the time have ... if I don't, I fix it so I do. So I'm not sure what the problem is. She said that (I forget the name I used before for the women supervisor .... ) whomever was looking over my charting and has found things she wants to go over with me. That's fine ... but don't give me an assignemt and JUST ORIENT me. I wish I would have said that, but didn't ... maybe I'll get a chance to talk with her tomorrow and explain everything.

So now I'm a mess ... big shock! I was up all night having anxiety and then wake up to this phone call!!! So I can tell you right now how my day is going to be ... pretty much how it is now ... crying, shaking, having trouble breathing, having anxiety attacks! And of course ... Bart's work is too important to leave to come home to help. Make me feel wanted and loved why don't you!