Worry .....

How is it possible to worry so much about something you don't know .... let me rephrase that, someone you don't know.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my unborn daughter and worry about her health ... her prenatal care. Is she even getting prenatal care?? Is this pregnancy being hidden ... is the mother being hidden so she doesn't get in trouble with the government for being pregnant? I worry for the health of the mother ... I wonder what she is thinking. Does she already know she's going to abandon this child ... my child?

We are both very anxious to go to China and get our child, but that is far off ... a year! A year ... a year more of worries, of not knowing ... a year of fear for a child and mother I don't know. How will she be "given up"? It's illegal to abandon your child in China so it's done in unsafe manners. How will my daughter be abandoned? Will the mother stay nearby out of site watching to make sure she stays safe? How heart wrenching it will be for her to do such an act, an act that will go unknown from those around her (except her family that knows). An act that I'll ever be indebted to her for ... giving up her child for me, someone that is unable to have a child and wants one more than anything. I'll never get to express my gratitude to her, to thank her for her selfless act. But I can pray for her piece of mind .... and pray that she stays safe ..... and worry ...............